This month is the 15th anniversary of my Mom's death. To celebrate my Mom, I started rereading stories she had written about about various experiences in her life. Whenever I revisit her stories, I always hear her voice in my head. It's like she's sitting right next to me, sharing her memories and nuggets of wisdom. Her descriptions of several of our family camping and travel adventures brought waves of laughter. Just what my soul needed this month!
In my wanderings through her writings, I found a newsletter I wrote for Earth Day 2011. I love how this piece illustrates the roots of the Seasons of Change and my Organic Way, as well as my approach to helping people find the focus of their work with clients.
I am grateful for the time my Mom and I shared together and how her way of being continues to be present in the world through my work.
For My Mom, Every Day Was Earth Day
Going outside with my Mom was always a field trip. It didn't matter whether we were children or adults, if we were out in the garden, on a hike, or at the beach, she always had a fascinating nugget of nature's wisdom to share.
Growing up my Mom loved to explore the ten acres of woods that surrounded her home in northern New Jersey. The woods – with the trees, birds, flowers, and animals – was her happy place, her safe space.
Her mother, my grandmother, considered all of nature to be her garden, and she taught my mom and her brother to know the natural world, to love it, and to feel at home in it. She also had a whimsical side. Here's how my mother described their time in nature together when she was young.
"The dew-covered webs seen on the grass in the morning were fairy tents. Mother encouraged my brother and me to build tiny stick and mud houses for the fairies. Wood sprites were an accepted reality as we explored our ten acres of woods. Over the years, Mother created English style gardens above the house and across the road. During the 1940’s, it was a showplace. There was a fern collection, 42 varieties of irises, and a summer of colorful perennials."
I remember my mother telling me how my mother’s family would go into the woods to hunt for the very first signs of spring. To this day, I still delight in this family tradition. (Check out the snow-sprinkled daffodils in my photo above.)
Nature’s Presence in Our Family
As a college student and an adult, my mother deepened her knowledge of the natural world by earning both a bachelor's and a master’s degree in biology. Our relationship with the natural world was an undercurrent in many of our family conversations and the way we lived our lives:
- Nature is precious.
- Marvel at the intricate ways in which nature works.
- All of nature is interconnected.
- Changing one thing in any ecosystem impacts the entire system.
- Be mindful of your impact on nature and the environment.
Now that you know this about my background, it isn't much of a stretch to understand why so much of my life's work — The Seasons of Change, Nature's Wisdom Deck, and the Organic Way — ties back to nature's wisdom in some way.
My Mom Had a Way of Honoring Each Person
My Mom's way of being also influenced how I work with clients who are seeking clarity about the focus of their own work with clients. In thinking about her life and our interactions over the years, I've pulled out three key themes that have had the most impact on me and my mentoring work.
Pay Attention to What Interests You
When I was in college, struggling to figure out which General Ed classes to take, she always had me start by looking for the classes that intrigued me. I'd pore over the catalog, searching for the classes that piqued my interest - anthropology, Greek, American history, zoology. By taking these courses, my life was enriched in many ways that were seemingly unrelated to my Psychology Major. Interestingly enough, these same topics are still of great interest to me. (Some of you may spot the roots of my Heart Magnet in this practice.)
When I work with people, young and young at heart, I encourage them to follow this same strategy. Rather than starting with what you "should" do, start with what you are drawn to do. Sure, sometimes you have to do what you must, but it's essential to keep your eye on the topics and talents that engage you and bring you excitement and joy.
It's Never Too Late to Follow Your Passions
When my Mom first went to college in the 1950's, she was told that it wasn't proper for a woman to be a doctor, so she majored in biology, a field she clearly enjoyed. Immediately following college, she earned a certificate in Occupational Therapy, which provided a more accessible path into the medical world. She always felt there was something more for her to do.
Soon after my father died, my Mom returned, at age 52, to graduate school for the second time. She earned a MA in counseling, went on to get licensed, and had a flexible, part-time practice into her 70's. She helped many clients believe in themselves, find their way through deep grief, and heal from very difficult pasts.
In my line of work, I often hear people say they are too old to do this or that. Mom never second guessed her decision. She didn't fret that she was too old to go back to school. She committed herself to her goal and had quite an impact on people's lives as a result.
Each Person Has Special Gifts and Talents.
Honor Those and You Give the Best Gift of All.
Watching my Mom interact with her grandchildren gave me new insights into what it was like to be her child.
She had a gift for supporting each of us in being ourselves – our very best selves. Not in the image of what she or my father expected. Not in what was expected of us by society. By having the patience and the wisdom to give us the space, nurturing, and permission, she allowed us to experiment with our interests to see what flourished in the process.
When I was in grade school, I loved horses. I read about them, I would watch them as we drove by local ranches, and I'm sure I talked about them. Most of all, I wanted to learn to ride! When I was old enough, she set me up for lessons. My favorite lessons were those when we left the training ring and went out onto the trails that meandered throughout the ranch. It was only much later in life that I heard my Mom talk about her own fear of horses and how she had to manage her own fears to allow me to experience my excitement.
As I write this, I realize that when I work with clients, I hold this same space for them. I give them the permission and the opportunity to dive into their own interests and passions in ways they've often never done before. As people connect with what they love, they step into a new level of confidence, clarity, and calling. Guiding and witnessing these discoveries for my clients is one of my greatest joys.
Originally written in 2011. Revised in 2023.