As the events of the world unfold around us, we all have hopes and fears about what comes next. No matter what our beliefs and philosophies are, we feel the tension in the air and in our conversations. It is important to know how we can best support each other.
One of the reasons we are feeling such deep uncertainty right now is that there are other forces and scenarios playing out for which we don’t have a clear path, a dependable path, or a known path forward. There’s no way to know how it’s all going to play out. The steps to resolution are unknowable at this moment. The ultimate outcome is impossible to discern.
Most of us have a difficult time sitting in this amount of uncertainty on so many fronts. It really doesn’t matter who we are. It's an unsettling time.
Ways You Can Support Those Around You
Support Each Other
As you move through your life, you’ll likely connect with people in your life who are on edge: clients, family members, friends, and colleagues.
Even a simple question — "How are you?" or "How are you doing this week?" — can be a catalyst for a deeper-than-usual response. They may “look” fine, but when you give them an opening to share, they may show you what is really going on for them.
1) Create A Safe Space.
If they give you a short, “I’m fine” response, but you can sense more is going on, assure them that you are holding space for them to share what's truly going on for them — their experiences, their emotions, their fears. If they are on the verge of tears or you sense their distress, reassure them that it’s okay to cry with you. Sometimes that permission helps them feel safe enough to open up and share their truth.
2) Listen.
What are they really saying? How are the events of the week impacting them personally? Take in their words, while also sensing what's happening beneath the surface. What are they not acknowledging? What are they pushing down or masking by busyness or withdrawal? As you listen, make note of the depth and details of what they share with you.
3) Honor Them and Their Experience.
As the conversation continues, reflect back to them what you heard — not in a formulaic way, but in a compassionate, nuanced way. Tap into the part of you that has had or is having a similar experience. Acknowledge that what they are feeling about the times is normal, natural, and understandable given the circumstances. If you and the other person hold vastly different beliefs, finding this point of connection may be tricky. I realize that. And as a Change Catalyst, it is important to step beyond the polarizing energies to find ways to support, honor, and respect them and their experience.
4) Let Them Know They Are Not Alone in This Experience.
If it feels appropriate, share some element of what you have felt or are feeling. Demonstrating that you are also feeling it all helps them see your humanity. Perhaps you can share something about a theme you’ve been seeing with your clients, colleagues, and loved ones that reassures them that others are feeling it too.
5) Talk About the Realities of the Deep Uncertainty We Are Sitting in Right Now.
Use the anxiety or emotions they are feeling as a starting point for this part of the conversation. Sometimes it’s helpful to name the extent of the uncertainty and how unsettling it is. Then, depending on your relationship with the person you are talking with, open up with a question about how they might soothe their nervous system, mind, and heart. Perhaps they have practices that they’ve lost track of that they could bring back into their days. Or perhaps the two of you can co-create some new ideas that will help them navigate this time.
If your conversation leaves you with concern, check back with those who are struggling.
Remember to Take Care of You!
When you are sensitive, intuitive, and empathic — as many Change Catalysts are — you can get thrown off kilter quite easily at times and may need some extra support.
When it all gets to be too much, there’s a temptation to shut it all out and shut down.
And yet, to do our best work, we must be open to cues about the times, our clients’ state, and our own state. The best way to be at our best is to lean into personal practices that keep us grounded, centered, and perceptive.
Resources:
50 Deep Self-Care Activities for Uncertain Times
(a free eBook)
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Feel free to share this link with those you speak with who are struggling to find their center.