Are you feeling the intensity?
The heaviness.
The uncertainty.
The angst.
The disruption.
Uncertain change.
Nearly everyone I’ve talked to this week is feeling the intensity...deeply. It almost doesn’t matter what the core triggers are for each person at this point.
So many of us are waking up with a heaviness in our hearts, a knot in our gut.
The unknowns hover, even when we are doing our best not to think about what’s unfolding around us.
We feel off-center, wobbly, and unmoored.
The intensity of the changes is relentless.
There doesn’t seem to be a way around the intensity or beyond it right now.
The intensity just is.
For now.
Then when we ask the question “For how long?” another wave of uncertainty overtakes us.
You are not alone! Many in your circle are experiencing what you are -- friends, family members, colleagues, neighbors, and clients. They may not be talking about the intensity (they may not know how) or sharing their thoughts on social media, but catch them in a one-on-one conversation, and you are bound to see your experience reflected in theirs, and theirs in yours.
Working with Our Clients in Times of Intensity
In one of my mentoring groups this week we spent some time talking about two seemingly conflicting questions that surface nearly simultaneously. It’s almost as though they are a riddle or a koan.
- When we feel overwhelmed with emotion, fear, and worry, how can we possibly give anything of value to our clients?
- When we can’t see a way to fulfill our role as guide, supporter, and coach, what do we do with the feelings of angst, shame, and guilt that bubble up within us?
It can feel like an impossible riddle to solve, especially when we are sensitive, intuitive, and deeply empathic ourselves.
What I’ve Been Experimenting With
The last few months I’ve been sensing into this riddle to find what works for me. Perhaps you’ll discover something in this process that you can weave into your own experience as a Change Catalyst.
Step One: Take care of your own needs first.
Nurture yourself. Nourish yourself. When you are experiencing deep emotions, be with and for yourself. Allow the rough edges to show themselves to you so you can witness them and find ways to soothe them. During this acute intensity, honor the signals you are sensing. Follow their lead to give fully to yourself.
Key Note: As much as you want to be there for your clients, now is not the time. It’s okay to step back in your life and in your business. It won’t be forever, even though it may feel like it in this moment. Your clients and colleagues will understand; they are going through it too. In fact, when you are ready to return (see the following steps), they may express gratitude to you for how you are modeling this way of being.
Step Two: When you are able to, let this thought in.
Begin to notice how your experience is showing you new insights, new perspectives, and new layers of awareness. By consciously attending to your own responses during Step One, you will learn new ways of being that will allow you to be even more present in supporting your clients in these times. As you continue your experience, be mindful and aware. Start observing your journey thus far and see what you need next.
Key Note: All that you discover and discern about your experience will be of value to your work and your clients when you are ready to share them.
Step Three: When you are ready to articulate something of your journey, speak from a place of insights gained.
Tell a story, share a quote, express your gratitude. By modeling the truth of your experience, you have the opportunity to open new opportunities and possibilities for those around you. Feel into what feels comfortable to you. You don’t have to share everything. A few broad brush strokes can paint enough of a picture to give your insights context and help your clients and colleagues see how they can use what you’ve shared to support their own journey.
Key Note: You don’t have to be 100% wobble free to embark on Step Three; you just need to be sharing from a place of insight rather than from the depths of your pain and anguish.
Step Four: As you come through the lowest points in your process and you see how what you’ve experienced can be of value to your clients, then you can weave what you’ve learned into your work.
Remembering your stories, your insights, and the strategies you used to find your way through your rough spot will be invaluable throughout your career.
Key Note: Don’t expect this transfer of knowledge to happen instantaneously. It takes time to integrate and deepen your understanding of what just happened to you. Start by sharing a story in a session, experimenting with how you can describe the strategy you use, or writing about an insight in your newsletter. Each time you share this with a client or colleague will show you ways you can strengthen and refine what you are saying and how you are saying it.
I’ve included a few resources below that may be of support to you as you navigate the times.
Three Resources for You
- Create a much-needed sense of calm in this time of intensity and bring glimmers of hope as you take the first steps to recreate your life, with the help of my free eBook, 50 Deep Self-Care Activities During Uncertain Times.
- Explore these concepts and others in more depth, join me for my training course: Coaching Clients in Uncertain Times
- Listen to my podcast episodes about Transition Trends.
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